Do you remember in school the song that we all use to sing, “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage?” This was a song that was sang while in elementary school when you had your first crush, but didn’t understand what a crush was.
Then you went to college, military, or moved out of your parents home and became a young adult then the song became, “first comes sex, and now we’re through.” It doesn’t have the same tone, but it reflects the time that we are in.
Now as a college graduate of over 10 years, I believe that we have come to a dark point in our history. I hardly remember the class topics or debates that my classmates and I spoke on, but for some reason I remember all the erotic talks and deviant behaviors. It got worse as I entered true adulthood because I felt as if I conquered life. I never took the time to realize how I dehumanized and demoralized another human being by equating sexual intimacy as if it were a recreational sport. I gloried in one night stands, and portrayed my life as a scene on a porno set, and stripped the bare essence of intimacy to shreds.
Promising “privacy” to the young lady, but within the same breath calling my friends to give details of the night. I tried to mask the fact that I was treating women like pieces of meat by introducing them to my friends to make them feel special, but the after thought truly speaks on how I objectified these women for status.
I didn’t try to build a strong foundation with these women, but build my ego up. I was emotionless for a long period of time, because I didn’t know how to put anything worth while in a relationship. Though, through education, countless relationship self help books, and personal relationship failure and triumphs;
I have came up with 5 Tips to Put Meaning In A Relationship:
1. Spend quality time with your person of interest, by carving out time in your busy day exclusively together
2. Appreciate the person that you are with through encouragement. Encourage dependence with an independent balance, and learn to restore good feelings in your relationship.
3. Learn to re-love all the little annoying quirks that were attractive in the beginning of your relationship
4. Never hide resentments, because it will poison your relationship. Have a heart to heart, and find a loving solution to your problem
5. Take turns talking, I like to call it, “non-judging conversation.” Speak your mind openly and honestly, and get your point across, but without criticism.
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